Okay, so I’ve been friends with this girl for over 2 months. We became friends after I asked her out and she said no because she already has a boyfriend. I hope to be her boyfriend in the future. At the same time, I also want to be a good friend in the mean time, I wanna be someone who’s fun and who she can tell her problems to and I also want to be able to comfort her.
Even though I’m perfectly happy with being her friend while respecting her relationship, I want her to see me as a potential boyfriend. The problem is that when I’m around her, I get all quiet and shy and, and I never have anything to talk about and my mind blanks up and sometimes she stays like that too after she’s ran out of things to say.
What can I do to talk a little more and be more fun when I’m around her so that I don’t bore her? We might hang out at an art gallery this Saturday and I wanna be able to fix myself before then.
VIVA LA RAZA!
Same situation [Thanks for asking]
May 20th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Same situation [Thanks for asking]
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May 20th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
I find that if you are a reader like yourself, you should easily find things to talk about. You are probably just nervous around this girl. Try reading a useless facts book to break the ice until you feel more comfortable. For instance knowing that the Martini got it’s name from a NYC bartender named John Martinez. Useless, yet interesting. Good luck!!
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May 20th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Reading could help you find somethings to talk about, and basically just say anything that comes to mind if you’re really struggling to come up with something to say.
An art gallery is a perfect place to make conversation. Look up artists and pick one and find out a lot of about that one, or maybe even find a favorite painting and learn about, and then bring it up while you two browse art.
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May 20th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Make sure you compliment her, dont drop the compliments every two seconds but just every once in a while. Like omg is that you your perfume is amazing or something like that. Pay attention, like if she has new earrings or something girls like when you notice little things like that because it means you really do pay attention. Just don’t over do it because if you get annoying that’s bad news. With the talking thing take the gallery thing as an advantage learn about the art or whatever so while you have nothing to say you can fill her in on some cool facts about the art. Shyness is a hard thing to try to find solutions to and I wish i could help more but hopefully this will help a little. Good Luck Friend.
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May 20th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Just be yourself.
Pretend it’s on Y! and your just chatting online with one of your friends.
Pretend she’s one of your guy friends.
I know these are a lot of pretends.
Think about it.
Don’t be nervous.
I’ll add more later.
Ask her something about herself to get her talking.
Like idk do you like animals? or something.
Try something that you know you’re both interested in.
It actually works for friends but if you have other intentions I’m not sure it will help.
Drop compliments like your perfume smells good ONLY if you know she’s one of the girly people and don’t say that if she isn’t wearing perfume. Say something like I love your shirt or something. I’m a tomboy and even I would feel special if someone said that.
Although I’m goth.
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May 20th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Although I think browsing art is fun, I’d have to disagree. You wouldn’t want to bore her to death (unless she loves talking about artists). Saying that, I’m not much of an expert myself.
To break the ice with this girl I liked, I asked her a series of interesting questions such as "What would you do if you were a man for the day" or "What’s your favourite chat-up line" - And make sure you have quick-witted answers at your ready incase she volleys a question back to you. Through this you’ll get to know her and feel that little bit closer to her.
Good luck!
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My fave chatup line:
Man: I have a magical watch
Woman: Really… how?
Man: My watch says you’re not wearing any panties
Woman: But I am…?
Man: I forgot to tell you… it’s 10 minutes fast.
heheehheheeee
May 20th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
well…at times try to put away the thought of becuming her bf …then u’ll be able to open up and be urself when u r with her.
to be truthful it’s not easy to get out of ur character within 3 days…[since u said u were going out wid her on saturday]…so u’ll probably be a li’l shy even if u try the ideas which the wonderful people at YA have put forward.
one important thing u should know is that u r cool and wonderful when u r urself, u should never lose ur self confidence … and always remember- she likes hanging out with u, even though u r shy ,quiet or as u say boring[well,i don't think u r boring :D]….if sh found u boring and not-fun then she wudn’t hav agreed to go to the art gallery with u…
so be urself.that’s the best advice i can give u at the moment.
we’ll plan out a long-term behaviour -change plan when we chat…
well don’t worry,u’ll have fun dude.
cheers
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May 20th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Just ask yourself why you’re so shy. There’s no good reason to be is there?I mean she hang out with you at an art gallerly this saturday just ask her for her opinion about on of the photos there. or just say something funny about the picture to make her laugh. you’ve been here friend for 2 months now you should know what makes her laugh or cry or happy.
Ask her how her realthionship is going too maybe there about to break up if she spending a lot of time with you.
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May 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
well for one thing you if you like to talk you should have things to talk about but as i can see you said your not very talkative so that kinda won’t work but if you run outta things to say ask her how her day was if you haven’t already asked her. Ask her things you haven’t asked her before but don’t get the questions 2 personal. Ask her if she wants to hang out again but make sure she has time for her boyfriend too. Ask her if she likes sports and if she does what kind nd if she has a fav team. Find lots of little things to talk about it couls end up in a really interesting conversation she may begin to like you too that isn’t a good thing though She will learn more about you and you will learn more about her
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May 20th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Lol ok the trick is to not care at all about what she thinks but care about how she feels. Like make sure you dotn say anything to hurt her feelings or upst her and take into account how you act depending on how she feels. Like if shes in a bad mood try not to make it worse lol. Treat her like youd like to be treated. These things arent easy to do so what you can do is , if the following is too hard, practice telling yourself that your ready to beat up or fall out with anyone that gets on your nerves.
The thing is ive actually taught myself that its not that i dont care what people think but that what people think doestn matter. If your the right type of drunk get yourself drunk and youll realize this. Because the best and most attractive you ONLY comes out when you do the following things ive mentioned ayyyyt?
its not easy really but i think it shud come naturally with maturity but seeing as your having problems lol i dont think youv reached that level of maturity. But if you practice these things youll be cool around her. Like a cool person. Just dont give a shit about what shes thinking is key to being the coollest you.
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