I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. I am 20 and he is 21. We met in high school and we feel hard for each other. He was a laid back country guy, and I was the laid back country girl. We moved in together, and things are fine, but i don’t know if our LOVE is just enough for me. To brief you, He cant eat normal foods, anything processed is out, so NO dinner dates, NO double dates. Also, when he comes home, kisses me, sits down, lets all of his farts out. Has this or does this bother me? No, but really, just like that. I know we are very comfortable with each other, But is this what the future is going to hold. Night after night, sitting at home, family guy, no dates. Not to mention we don’t have the same tastes in music, movies, foods (obviously) fashion. I am in my prime, I bought a house at 19 (a nice cute one) my bestfriend lives with us as well in the house. And im just thinking to myself lately, is this what you want your future to be like…
I want to be able to go to art gallery’s with him, museums, party’s, just do fun and exciting things together. But i am pretty sure that wont happen. I just don’t know how to do this because YES i do love him with all my heart and COULD be with him forever, But i don’t think that is where my TRUE happiness lies. I just need advise. If any of you have ever been in my shoes, anything you can give me will help me make my choice.
And yes, i have talked to him about my needs, because i have worked really hard for what i have, and he is just doesnt have the outgoing personality that i think i need. My bestfriend said to me "what happened to the Meghan that had to make sure she was a 10 before we could go to classes." the truth is I dont know, I never been able to make myself think about only me…and what i want..
I have not been in this predicament but my sister has. She was with her boyfriend for four years and they even were engaged but after being together that long and moving in together she realized she didn’t like the way he lived and although she did love him very much she knew what was best for both of them.And it turns out he realized he was a lot happier too. So I think time is a great way to find out how you feel about a person. I can tell you do love him and just because your not right for each other doesn’t mean your not in love it just means you are not to your full potential in love. Good luck and I hope you make the right choice.
I don’t know if THIS love is enough…?
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May 10th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I have not been in this predicament but my sister has. She was with her boyfriend for four years and they even were engaged but after being together that long and moving in together she realized she didn’t like the way he lived and although she did love him very much she knew what was best for both of them.And it turns out he realized he was a lot happier too. So I think time is a great way to find out how you feel about a person. I can tell you do love him and just because your not right for each other doesn’t mean your not in love it just means you are not to your full potential in love. Good luck and I hope you make the right choice.
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May 10th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
For the first part of you long post: Sounds like you are already married. If a guy farts in your presence, he loves you.
For the second part: Tell him how you feel and that you want to go do that stuff. If you don’t, then nothing will change and you’ll keep living the way you live.
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May 10th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
im actually in the exact same situation as you right now only i am content and i know i will never find another love like this ever.. all you can do is listen to your heart
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May 10th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
It’s nice to see a fellow young person thinking about their future! Good
I think that you should follow your brain on this one. I know your heart is telling you that you love him and all and that’s cute, but IS HE HUSBAND MATERIAL? Could you deal with that for the rest of your life? Could you have kids with this person? Could you change this person’s Depends when their 90 and cant move?
Yeah he seems like a nice guy, but u need to talk to him and see if he can compromise for you…if not kick him out
the fart thing is a HUGE turn-off for me
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May 10th, 2010 at 3:19 pm
There is an old saying, at least in my family, "Love is blind. But marriage is the eye opener!" You have been with your boyfriend since high school. At an early age you made the decision that this was the one and only guy for you. BUT you had not actually LIVED with him. Now you do! Issues that did not seem important in high school are now rubbing you raw, love or no love you do not like what you are seeing now.
I spent 4 years in the U.S. Navy. What happens aboard a ship is some very very close living with a bunch of people just thrown together. Some people that I know I would have had no trouble really liking as friends in civilian life I would come to hatein that on board living together mode. Sometimes I could have cheerfully thrown them overboard. Others whom I disliked very much on first meeting I would gradually grow to like and they became my best buddies. The point being that living with anyone brings out the flaws, good, bad, or indifferent.
You love this guy right? If things keep going as they are you will come to resent him very very much. And that resentment in time will fester into hatred. You must have a deep heart to heart with your boy friend. Do not be blaming, but you must tell him what you expect from your life style. If you do not get that why should you be alive?
There are times opposites get along very well. I for example am very bookish, my wife loathes books. I like music, she does not like music. I like art, she could care less. I like sports, she thinks they are stupid and would rather watch Judge Judy or Oprah. Now we do have some common interests. So our marriage is that I do my things, she does her own things, and the things we like together we do together.
I would advise you to identify those things you and he love to do together, and have a definate time each week to do those things. If you have NOTHING you like to do in common FIND SOMETHING, work hard at it. If not you will surely break up. As for you persuing your own personal things you enjoy, is he holding a gun at your head and saying you cannot do those things? I realize you want a partner in those things you enjoy, but it you force him to come with you he will be miserable. Still you should make the effort to interest him in some of the things you like. He needs to find common ground with you or you him or you will not be together much longer.
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May 10th, 2010 at 4:05 pm
HELLO =D.. WELL THIS COULD BE REALLY FAST ANSWERED. ASK YOURSELF? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO HIM ABOUT THAT? ABOUT WHAT YOU LIKE, ABOUT YOUR TASTES, ABOUT YOUR THINGS. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, HE WILL UNDERSTAND AND EVEN MAKE AN EFFORT TO TRY TO GO OUT WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING.. =D. HOPE I HELPED YOU..
LOVE SIMPSON
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ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND